Teachers: When behaviour feels personal

Yep, this can be a really, really hard one to remember in the moment. When it feels like the opposition, the failure to follow instructions, the interrupting, the outbursts, the disruptions, the back chat - is endless.

But…

If you can pause and shift your mind set in that moment, it will help. “My student isn’t giving me a hard time – they are having a hard time.”

(For those with autistic stduents I also love the phrase ‘they are being au-ghty, not naughty’).

These phrases aren't meant to illicit miracles or be a magic wand - they are a gentle self-reminder that this NDer is up against it and struggling in that moment. And, right now they don’t have the skills, maturity or executive functioning capacity to say ‘I’m having a hard time, can you help me please?'

So, what do you do? You get curious.

If you can pause for just a moment and play detective instead of police officer, you might be amazed by what your student has to say.

Pause, take a breath, and ask ‘Hey (name) – what’s up?’

They may be so shocked that you’re enquiring instead of telling them to stop/sit/listen that you get the circuit breaker you need. Or, they might continue. But because you have now started to view what is happening from a place of curiosity instead of frustration the entire dynamic of the interaction can shift.

To be clear: this doesn’t excuse the behaviour, but you might start a conversation instead of shutting one down.

Learn first, teach later.